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Writer's pictureHavard Mela

6 Reasons to Quit Porn for Good

More people are beginning to realize that unlimited access to porn has serious consequences




This article has nothing to do with religion or morals. It is simply looking at how watching porn can be damaging.


A growing number of people are starting to wake up to the harmful impact that watching porn can have on their lives. A big movement has formed on Reddit, and more people have started talking about the life-changing effects quitting porn had on them. More people are beginning to realize that unlimited access to porn has serious consequences.


Dislaimer: This advice should not be viewed as clinical treatment. Consider seeking professional help from a therapist if you struggle, don’tconsider this article a substitute for treatment.


My Own Experience

In my early twenties, I experienced long periods without motivation to accomplish anything. I had no motivation to be social, find a girlfriend, go to university, or do anything with my life.


Eventually, I started to connect the dots after looking online, and I realized that my compulsive porn use could be the reason behind many of the issues I experienced. I am very grateful for people educating us about the adverse effects of porn addiction through websites such as yourbrainonporn.com. If they hadn’t shared this information, I and countless others wouldn’t have traced various side effects back to watching porn, and the thought makes me shiver.


With years of trial and error, I eventually regained control over my addiction, and my life has improved tenfold in the aftermath. Gradually, I started feeling motivated again; my social anxiety went away, my self-esteem got better and the dark clouds of depression finally lifted. Of course, it was not a magic cure, but it laid the groundwork to work on other aspects of my life. And when the soul-sucking habit was gone, I had built enough mental resilience and positive momentum to tackle other issues head-on.


I am not saying all my problems stemmed from porn addiction, but many did. In my opinion, the main benefit of quitting porn, if you have a problem with it, is that you get the strength and energy to tackle other challenges in your life. It felt like the world opened up to me again in a way that hadn’t happened since my teens, and I could pursue my interests and passions again.


In your 20s, it is a time to take risks, invest in building a fulfilling life, establish meaningful connections, and relentlessly pursue your goals. This becomes a lot easier when you liberate yourself from soul-sucking habits that sap your motivation such as watching porn.

Reflecting back, I lost a few years of my life to this addiction, but fortunately, I turned it around eventually. That is also why I am compelled to share my experience and what I have learned as millions struggle with porn addiction or compulsive porn use.


Some people are not even aware that they have a problem. That is why this is such an important topic, and I hope more people will wake up to the reality of how damaging watching porn can be.


You don’t have to experience a crippling addiction. Even watching porn on occasion can have some side effects that we will look at later in this article.


Today’s world has extreme abundance, and in the past, people faced scarcity. We have easy access to porn, drugs, alcohol, fast food, the internet, movies, gambling, and many other things to stimulate us. This surplus of stimuli is easily accessible and designed to trigger our dopamine levels.


Unless we self-regulate our consumption, we will be flooded with easy dopamine hits that affect our desire to work, accomplish and overall well-being.


We have to limit our consumption and cultivate discipline. Otherwise, we will pay for it with our motivation and happiness.


As the Roman statesman Seneca said:

So called pleasures, when they go beyond a certain limit, are but punishments”.

We have to moderate our consumption to avoid our easy pleasures becoming punishments.


Here Are 6 Reasons Why You Should Quit Watching Porn Today:


1. Deepen your connection and intimacy with your partner

Our brains possess a remarkable quality known as neuroplasticity — a phenomenon where every action impacts our neural wiring. Watching porn forges alternative pathways in our brains for arousal, which, in turn, grow stronger at the expense of the natural pathways for intimacy. The result is that real-life partners seem less interesting.


Each time we watch porn, we inadvertently weaken the brain’s natural pathway for arousal with a partner. This can escalate to a disheartening point where people find themselves disinterested in physical intimacy altogether. Still, others develop erectile dysfunction and can’t perform when they try to be intimate with their partner.


If you desensitize your dopamine system by watching porn continually, you will feel dopamine’s effect less when it is released. This results in lower motivation and drive in your life. If you desensitize your dopamine system, you practically desensitize yourself to life and become numb.


2. Experience more motivation and drive in your life.

Watching porn triggers a spike in dopamine levels that can be extended due to unlimited novel content. This leads to dopamine being elevated and a subsequent crash below the baseline. A lot of our motivation in life is based on sexual drive. Sigmund Freud even hypotesized that all motivation is sexual.


When you get used to the elevated amount of dopamine that watching porn releases, simpler activities in life like going to the gym, spending time with friends, going out to watch the sunset etc. fail to motivate you. This is because watching porn regularly negatively impacts the reward system.


Normal activities pale compared to the huge dopamine spikes we get from watching porn. The result is that you feel sluggish, unmotivated, and lazy. You will have more time and energy to pursue your passions when you stop watching porn.


3. Find more enjoyment in your everyday life

For the same reason that watching porn floods your brain with easy dopamine, the brain gets more sensitized to life’s subtler pleasures when you stop.


I experienced that doing homework, working out, and working on myself in other ways not only felt more motivating, but I also got more pleasure from these things when I got my porn use under control.


The brain adjusts to the pleasures we allow ourselves to experience. Suppose you live a simpler life without porn, drugs, excessive use of alcohol, and the internet, for example. In that case, you will derive more pleasure from the smaller things in life since your brain will adjust and become more attuned to simple things like going for a walk or spending time with friends. The result is an overall happier life.


4. Become more self-reliant and resilient

Many people who are addicted to porn are using it as an emotional crutch to escape from difficult feelings such as loneliness and depression temporarily. To stop, we need to become self-reliant and find alternative ways to satisfy emotional needs and uncomfortable feelings.


By avoiding relying on external crutches to soothe your uncomfortable feelings, you will instead begin relying on yourself and become resilient. In these moments of discomfort, we uncover the true strength of our character, allowing us to weather the storm and emerge stronger.


If we stop overstimulating ourselves online, we will also carve out time for healthier and more fulfilling experiences. In turn, our self-esteem rises, and we start feeling better about ourselves.


5. Stop supporting a problematic industry

The porn industry is far from ethical and drug use and abuse are common. When you are watching porn, there is a chance you are unknowingly watching a dead performer, as several popular porn stars have committed suicide in the last few years.


There is something truly dreadful about the fact that when you are watching porn, you may be watching someone in the midst of ruining their lives as a result of their job, turning to alcohol and drugs to numb themselves. And you are sexually excited by what may be killing them. Of course, this is not the case with all performers, but it is the case with some.


6. Improve your connection with other people by abandoning objectification

When we are watching porn, we are objectifying other people. That means we are looking at them only to experience sexual satisfaction. When we do this, we train our minds to view other people as sex objects. This affects the connection we have with the people around us. Objectifying hinders authentic and equal relationships.


I used to feel like a zombie, unable to connect with the people around me. Even around family and friends, I felt emotionally numb, and my relationships suffered when I had the worst periods of porn addiction. Somehow, I cared less about others, and my empathy dropped, which scared me. I realized I had to quit. And obviously, we reduce our natural attraction and connection to a partner if we watch a lot of porn.


Stopping watching porn is difficult, but it is achievable! Some people even first realize they have a problem with porn when they see how difficult it is to go without it.



Here are some suggestions that can help you:

  • Build your willpower by doing difficult things such as cold showers, hard workouts, meditation, and reading. Challenge yourself and build a tougher daily routine. This will build your willpower, making you more capable of withstanding urges. Your willpower works like a muscle, so you become stronger every time you challenge yourself and do something difficult.

  • Avoid triggers. You might get exposed to triggers if you scroll through Instagram and watch certain TV series, for example. Think through what kinds of activities can trigger you and lead you down a slippery slope. Avoid these.

  • Spend less time on your computer and phone and more time doing things in the real world.

  • Build alternative ways to deal with emotional needs. Deep down, watching porn is, for many people, a way to deal with difficult emotions. We need to become self-reliant enough not to need external stimuli to soothe our emotions. Find offline ways to fulfill your emotional needs. If you feel like a victim, try to tap more into gratitude.

Porn is extremely accessible these days, and a moment of weakness is enough to succumb to temptation. For this reason, we need to be mentally strong, and I, for example, have no choice but to maintain this mental strength.


We have countless other easy pleasures surrounding us apart from porn, and we need the discipline to self-regulate our consumption.


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