Unlimited porn is a massive experiment that we don’t really know the consequences of yet.
I have done a lot of things on my journey to grow, but the biggest change happened when I got porn use under control. I used to be addicted to porn, and the biggest reason my life is a lot better now than it was a few years ago was that I finally managed to let its grip on me loosen.I struggled with depression, social anxiety, loss of motivation, difficulties connecting with people, and an uncentered mind.
In a way, I probably lost five years of my life to this addiction.The early 20s are the best part of many people’s lives. For me, this period was at times pretty miserable because I got into a downward spiral caused mainly by porn addiction. At least, it was possible to turn things around for me when I managed to quit.
That is also why I want to share this with you. Many people struggle with porn addiction, and it is a topic that is quite taboo to open up about.Only by doing that we can help other people realize the detrimental effect it can have on them.
I still remember when I first began to suspect that watching porn might be damaging. I had struggled to connect with people for years and couldn’t fathom why it was so challenging for me to be around others. After a while, I started to suspect that watching porn had some damaging side effects.
I did some research, and I only found mainstream articles that claimed that porn use was expected or even healthy.
Therefore, I am eternally grateful that I finally found some websites that acknowledged this as a problem and educated me about the topic. Websites such as yourbrainonporn.com and yourbrainrebalanced.comhelped me realize the effects watching porn can have.
Overcoming this problem has carved out a new path for me in many ways. It has forced me to build discipline and good habits.It has forced me to try new things to make up for the time I felt lost. It has allowed me to live life in the fast lane the last couple of years in many ways. But, I still need to be strong.
Since porn is incredibly accessible, a moment of weakness is enough to relapse.So, there is no other choice for me than to be mentally strong and maintaining that strength.That has been transformative and been helpful as well. Using that discipline in other areas of life has allowed me to build a business, finish a degree, and build my life in different ways.
Okay, so let’s dive into the topic of how porn can be damaging and how it affects you.
Here are some side-effects that can be experienced by watching porn:
Loss of motivation and drive.
Sex without intimacy.
Inability or lack of interest in attracting sexual partners.
Decreased quality of relationships.
Depression.
Anxiety.
Loneliness.
Feelings of shame and guilt.
Sexual dysfunction of various kinds.
Divorce.
Less time to focus on more important things.
Objectifying people.
Focus and memory problems.
False expectations.
Why is watching porn a problem?
Internet pornography is not only extremely accessible these days, but constant exposure to sexual images is practically inevitable. Commercials, entertainment, and news websites contain pictures of half-naked or even fully naked people.
Before screens and porn magazines, it was a lot more difficult to get exposed to nakedness. Today, sexual images are everywhere.
Just because sexual images are abundant doesn’t mean it is harmless. Our brain has developed in environments with scarce resources, which is different from what we face today.There is a massive mismatch between what our brains have evolved for and the massive stimuli we experience in our everyday lives.
Evolution has ensured that the things we experience the most pleasure from also are vital for survival, like eating and having sex. Finding a cheeseburger or visiting porn sites would be impossible for our tribal ancestors.
Nowadays, the primal part of our brain wants to grip every chance it can, eating junk food every day and masturbating to porn for hours. The instinct we have to pursue these sexual opportunities is how many people become addicted.Seeking instant rewards is not what will produce the best outcomes in life.We get the best outcomes from delaying rewards and having a longer time perspective.
First off, dopamine is the “pleasure chemical” responsible for motivation and feeling pleasure.
When you watch porn, you weaken natural pathways in your brain for arousal.This messes with our dopamine system tremendously.It ramps up our dopamine to high levels, and we get exposed to images that are hard to come by even if we have sex.In addition, you can constantly open new tabs and look for the “perfect scene.”
Our dopamine sensitivity is lowered, which results in less motivation to pursue other goals or interests.In addition, we experience less arousal when having sex, and we become worse as lovers.
Here are some statistics about porn use:
Canadian researchers found that 53.5 percent of 16 to 21-year-old males had sexual problems. 27 percent reported erectile dysfunction. 24 percent had problems with orgasm, and 10 percent reported low sexual desire.[1]
One study reports that more men between ages 18 and 40 experience erectile dysfunction (ED) than men between ages 40 and 80! Think about that for a second. Previous studies concluded that 2 % of men under age 40 experienced erectile dysfunction until 2002. This was before porn tube sites, the first one appearing in 2006. That enabled easy access to porn without downloading content.
In 2001 and 2002, an extensive study examining thousands of European men between 40 and 80 concluded that about 13 % experience ED. In 2011, the same survey was conducted on men between 18 and 40. ED rates among this group ranged from 14%-28%, increasing 600–1300 % compared to a decade earlier! [2] That shows how common sexual problems have become, and porn is most likely the biggest reason.
Increased porn use correlates with a decreased connection between the reward center and the brain’s prefrontal cortex (the area of the brain responsible for decision-making).This is associated with poorer decision-making and an inability to control impulses.[3]
Higher numbers of hours watching porn per week and more years of watching porn correlate with reduced gray matter in the reward circuitry.That reduces motivation and impairs decision-making. [3]
Nearly two-thirds of attorneys at the 2003 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers had seen a sudden rise in divorces related to the Internet. Of those, 58 percent resulted from a spouse using excessive amounts of Internet porn. [4]
How porn use affects the brain
A lot of our motivation for achievement stems from our sexual drive.If you constantly waste your sexual energy on jacking off to porn, it will result in a diminished drive to go after sexual partners and accomplishments in real life.Your DNA thinks you are balling out of control and see no point in pursuing further goals.
Quitting porn can be life-changing. Your brain suddenly stops experiencing artificial dopamine hits,and your situation is seen objectively and objectively. The dopamine spikes you experience when watching porn will reduce your motivation and make you less likely and willing to do the tough stuff in the short-term that is required to get that premier life.
You will get busy working towards real goals instead pretty quickly. In addition, you will experience a stronger sensitivity to dopamine if you stop overstimulating yourself. The result is that you will become more enthusiastic and more goal-oriented. Suddenly, you feel a strong desire to achieve something!
Final thoughts
Many people fail to connect the dots between their porn use and various issues in their lives.Watching porn is not healthy. It works like a drug that hijacks the brain’s pleasure centers.
If you found this article interesting, you can check out the book I have written about the topic. The statistics in this article are from the book and it covers how you can quit watching porn if you struggle with it.
The book is called "How to Thrive in the 21st Century: By Avoiding Porn And Other Distractions".
Citations
[1] O’Sullivan, Lucia, L. Brotto, E. Byers, J. Majerovich, J. Wuest. “Prevalence and Characteristics of Sexual Functioning Among Sexually Experienced Middle to Late Adolescents.” The Journal of Sexual Medicine 11, no. 3 (2014): 630–41.
[3] Simone Kühn and Jürgen Gallinat, “Brain Structure and Functional Connectivity Associated with Pornography Consumption: The Brain on Porn.” JAMA Psychiatry (2014): 827–34.
[4] Richard Barry, former president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, as quoted in Pamela Paul, “From Pornography to Porno to Porn: How Porn Became the Norm,” in The Social Costs of Pornography, edited by James R. Stoner Jr. and Donna M. Hughes, 3–20. Princeton, New Jersey: Witherspoon Institute, 2010.
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